Began writing this after the inspiration of Plastercine Poetry at the Victory last night. I feel it is part of the book I’m going to write during NaNoWriMo.
When you set your sights small sometimes it becomes easier to see them through. I thought we were through and then you came back to me, ever wanting, and yet unable to deliver the goods. Promises made became empty beds full of longing and memory. Trapped inside one’s body, one pretended to envelope the change, accept it, let go. Transform it, or you. Once admitted the dysfunction was no fault of one’s own it became possible to walk on the moon. Or any other such surface you desired. I played upon that desire. I didn’t mean to, it was just my own selfish transcendence of inhibitions. How far I’d let myself go into wanderings and trails obviously well trodden but not so much as the other ones. I… handed over my calvary in an attempt to bid for peace, bide for time or at least trade for some oranges. I hadn’t come this far to return with nothing.
But what I got was an aftertaste, some say bitterness, but I never saw that as a negative, I really enjoyed the ascent. Even though I now know it to be some disease, the way it played out for me I was able to surf, if for a short time, relatively in life span, but like a frog leaping from pad to pad I went exploring, walking on water to everyone’s disbelief. Now everyone can do it of course but I like to think I was a pioneer, at least for my tribe. And here’s where the apology I suppose could enter in. After all you could just say she was doing her job, like everyone else, caught up in a web of coercion, to which negation means finalization. And not in a good way.
Also a number of people received my free poem, good times.